Double Minded Again

OK, so I am watching some dumb TV show about "Reality TV show stars and where they are today" and this guy who was on Big Brother was one of their stories. I never watch that show so I wasn't familiar with him but he was apparently a young Christian guy who stood up for his morals on the show, talked very openly about abstinence and remained true to the Lord during his time on the show. I'm thinking... good for him!

Here is the double minded part... I am watching this and they start to interview him after the fact and he is a worship leader, in his church, and they show him singing and praising the Lord, playing his guitar and singing songs that on a normal Sunday morning bring me right to the throne of God. Why is it then that there, in my room, watching this secular TV show, I felt... well, embarrassed? I thought, "Man, we Christians we look weird." The feelings I had were not ones of conviction or well, even community. I almost felt like I was on the outside looking at some freak.

Now, when I think about it, I get the same feeling when I am flipping from CSI to some HGTV show and pass the Christian Channel... I hear someone teaching about Christ and they sound so - well, weird. I just want to hop right past it. click... click... click.... next Christian channel... someone holding open a Bible, teaching some topic I might go to a seminar to hear, but in the context of all the other options on TV... those just well, don't fit. And they don't make me want to stay, they make me want to click the channel up button one more time.

What's wrong with me? What kind of Christian sits in church on Sunday and Wednesday and goes to Youth conferences and Retreats and Journals to Jesus and reads Christian books and does devotions etc. etc. etc... gets feelings of - well - embarrassment from Christian TV shows? and Christians who stood their ground?

I am just feeling pretty schizophrenic. Like a double minded man.